(1) Last weekend I came home to have a lovely backyard BBQ birthday bash with my friends. Papa Roy cooked, Kelsey made the cake, it was absolutely wonderful, minus all the mosquitoes (which I only mention because my bites are still killin' me).
(2) I drove Kels and myself back to Minneapolis, and upon coming into the city, the sky started to fall. Driving in storms is one of my worst fears. I can't see, others can't, terrible. I kept it pretty together enough to drop Kelsey off at her home, and then promptly began having a big ol' panic attack. Not just about the rain, but being back, not being around 98% of the people who like me, just everything. I finally admitted to myself that I was not enjoying my time in Minneapolis. If it weren't for my stubbornness and the ol' "pull self up by bootstraps" mentality I had been raised with, I probably would have realized and accepted this earlier. But, I didn't.
(3) I moved home. Today I packed up a car full of stuff, and I'm sitting at my parents' house with my dog as I type this. So, in the past week I quit my job at the Daily (sadly), got my old job back at your local hardware store (mixed feelings on this one), and did my best to hang out with as many Minneapolis friends as I could (I did okay). Overall, as soon as I got over the initial shock of my need to do something so drastic, this week was great. I was able to appreciate the city way more when it didn't feel like a prison, if that makes any sense whatsoever.
So, I'm here for the rest of the summer for sure and will probably be taking fall semester off as well. I have not been in the right mental or emotional state to be taking care of myself and thus... mostly haven't been. If I have spoken to you in the past week and claimed "family issues", please do not take offense. It's way easier to say that than, "Oh, yeah, clinically depressed to a nonfunctional point and need my parents to help take care of me again HAHA!"
That being said, I already miss my Minneapolis friends, but it is good to be home. It has been a rough... long... time to say the least. I have learned a lot about myself, the beast that is depression, and my relationships with others. While myself and my condition have been an understandable wedge in a few of my friendships, the support I have gained from others has really shown me that I am beyond lucky to have who I have in my life. They have been endlessly supportive, and I feel blessed every day for that.
I'm not going to read this over (gasp) because it will make me self conscious and I'll never post it never. I promise next post will be funny again. Here's a picture of karaoke from last night to prove I can still be funny, or at least sing Third Eye Blind AND Taylor Swift, which is almost the same thing:
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