Most (read: all) of these follow every cliche piece of advice you have ever heard. Why read these? Well, I'd like to think that as a white Christian college-age female, I have a really unique perspective. In reality, I just saw a centipede crawl across the lamp that is startlingly close to my bed, so I shall not be sleeping any time soon. Perfect time for giving advice that no one asked for, am I right? NOTE: I started writing this at 3 AM this morning. Coherency was at a suspiciously high level, probably due to the fear component.
Maintain the ability to laugh at yourself and your situation. Embrace the fact that you have centipedes living in your apartment. Make a centipede killer with paper towel and a Swiffer you have only used for cleaning once. Show it to friends and jokingly brag about it. (It's not like that's the only thing I can focus on right now or anything...) There are so many things that lend themselves to two responses: (1) complain and pout or (2) laugh about. I have no scientific proof of this, but if you choose the latter I am fairly certain you will live longer. But, proven fact (by no one), you will most certainly enjoy things way more.
Keep your friends close, keep your enemies somewhere else, preferably another continent. Truth be told, maybe it's the lack of business competition fervor power-suit-under-all-my-clothes...ness, but I never really understood the whole "keep your enemies closer" thing. If you have enemies, wouldn't it be absolutely miserable keeping them around? I know I don't want to live like that.
That being said, do keep your friends close. Whether for the aesthetic purposes of having a good-looking bridal party (I'm looking at you, ladies--KNOW YOUR PLACE) or the actual purpose of "not being alone in the world", it's just a good idea. I know this past year, I have had a handful of friends that have kept me as close to sane as I will ever be. They're the ones who assure me that I'm funny, trick me into thinking I'm smart, and notice when I'm wearing my nice push-up bra and tell me what a quality job it's doing.
Don't waste your time with shit that (A) you don't enjoy OR (B) isn't getting you toward something you enjoy. I need to emphasize the reason for point (B). As a college student, I do a lot of shit I don't enjoy. While I actually do like my job most of the time, it is still a job, and we all know what I like more than working--say it with me--NAPPING and EATING! (Thanks, studio audience!) Half my classes I rarely get the point of, but both of these things are getting me to where I want to be. In the case of my job, it's helping me maintain the place where I live, training my centipede army before we commence battle against my neighbors. For my classes, they're leading me to law school which will lead me to a government job where maybe in 20 years I'm able to do something to help fix the broken system that is American education so others don't have to go through this mundane, useless process!! Also, I enjoy run-on sentences. Suck it.
But seriously. I honestly apply this to everything. I use to stick it out regardless of enjoyment, but in this past year my new policy has served me well. I dropped a couple of classes that were making me miserable. If I'm watching a movie and it stresses me out, I turn that thing off! Movies are for fun times, not stressful times. Like Black Swan. Never watching that again, it would break my rule and also my brain.
Don't be afraid of doing things by yourself. This is something I almost always encourage my friends to do. Just because you do something by yourself doesn't mean you don't have friends, it just means you want to hang out alone. That concert you really want to see but no one else wants to go to? Go alone. In the mood for a fancy dinner but none of your friends feel like spending the money? Just go. First of all, it's such a waste of time waiting on other people when you could be out doing fun things. Secondly, in my experience, people seem to think I'm a way more interesting person when I'm out by myself. This obviously lends itself to me pretending to be someone else and inevitably scaring people off... with my charm? But seriously. Don't chicken out.
It's okay to look stupid sometimes. This isn't really advice, and sort of overlaps with a couple of the other sentiments previously mentioned, but I think this is something people dwell on too much. I used to freeze up in horror if anyone ever even mentioned something I did that was embarassing ever, even if it was in childhood. Maybe this came with maturity (unlikely), but I have finally reached a point where I could honestly give a shit if I look dumb doing much of anything. This blog, for example, may be the biggest waste of time I have ever committed to, but I can honestly say I do not care even a little bit. I am enjoying myself (see above advice on life enjoyment) and expressing a sense of humor about myself (see first piece of advice), so I shall continue.
Stay tuned tomorrow or Friday for my first post on television! Like the topic of television, it won't be actually on any television sets. Spoiler alert!!!: It's about Arrested Development. Yeah, it includes YouTube clips. You're welcome.
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