Gator Week

I know I said I would write about why Parks and Recreation is the best show on television, but I fear I may have been living a lie. You see, season one of Swamp People is now on instant Netflix. My life has been changed.

First, I should inform you that I do not have a television in Minneapolis, so if it's not on Hulu, it takes me a while. Also, I am a TV purist (read: obnoxious), so I can only start shows from the beginning. If I try to start in the middle of a season, my brain explodes. Cannot compute. I need character backstories, no matter how irrelevant.

Second, it should be noted that I am way more into television than I am film. I like getting emotionally invested in plots and subplots that last for months and then leave you hanging. I will tell you that I hate it, but almost never believe me. Because I love TV, I also love recommending/forcing people to love shows. Many of my friends have learned to trust my studied recommendations, but normally I have to hook my parents by just turning the show on. It's like fishing (I'd assume); set the bait and wait for a catch/laugh. Right? That's like fishing.

OR ALLIGATOR HUNTING!!!!

Oh my word. Swamp People has taken Deadliest Catch's place in my heart as number one show about hunting-water-based-animals, a very specific, competitive category. Thank goodness I don't have to include Shark Week in there, because I wouldn't know what to do with myself! For those of you who don't know what the show is, it's about essentially a small group of Cajun men in the Louisiana bayou who hunt alligators during their hunting season. One also has a gator/turtle farm.

This is his story.

Yeah. He never wears a shirt. Also, he has a precious and mildly creepy dog that eats zebra cakes and licks alligator eye's right after they're killed. WEIRD but INTRIGUING. I love dogs.

This is HIS story.

Basically, like most other shows of this nature, the episodes follow similar plot lines. Challenges. Gators. ONE BIG NICKNAMED GATOR. Gotta catch 'em all! Someone succeeds, someone fails. Close on one of the guys talking about the importance of family and tradition and getting all the fat off of the gator meat. Classic television formula.

To close: I highly recommend this. I sat in my bed and watched hours of it. You could easily watch it with friends, if you're committed enough to put pants on, as I rarely am after 9 PM. Lastly, it's Roy family approved. I shall exhibit proof now.

Normal father-daughter conversations/PROOF

With that, I bid you a good night. Also, look at me go! Posting on here and everything.

Rapture Attack in River City!!!!1

As you may know, today was the rapture. Heaven is working out really, really well. The Dominos guy who delivered my Cinnastix to heaven was a sweetheart, and it was the only time I put on pants all day. So, yeah. Really unsure as to whether or not this is actually heaven and I was chosen, or if it's just a rainy summer Saturday where my main responsibility is to nap.

The best part of nap-rapture was my super intense nap dreams. I don't know if it's just me or a general rule, but my nap dreams are always 10,000x more interesting than any regular dream I can ever remember. (If anyone tries to explain the cognitive reasons behind this, I will punch you. Let me have my magic.)

I normally think that reporting on dreams is terrible and boring, but this one was one of those half memory/half dream scenarios, and the memory half is hysterical. I'll open with this, and you tell me if you're not enthralled (read: don't actually): I woke up trembling with the "Wells Fargo Wagon" song from The Music Man.

Exhibit A: the song in question

Exhibit B: a much superior song from the same musical

Where did this Music Man dream come from? Well, I don't want to intimidate you, but I happened to star as "a child" in the 2001 Catholic Memorial production of this classic musical in Waukesha, WI. So, I mean, it's not a big deal, but that's where I got my break. Look at me now!!!

In my rapturenapdream (copyright Alicia Roy, 2011), I was back in fifth grade, in this production. Fifth grade Alicia is a lot like current Alicia, but pre-braces, awkward as shit, with long hair and is 98% limbs. Also, afraid of speaking. I was super popular. Naturally, with all of these great qualities and a natural pre-teen fear of boizzz, being in a high school was a horrible, horrible thing. Even with theatre kids who are debatably more awkward than any pre-teen I have ever met ever.

ANYWAY. So I'm backstage, being bitter that I wasn't chosen to be in the Music Man's band of children and girl who is supposed to be my mom or something has sweaty hands and an obvious crush on my fake dad. I vividly remember that he was not into her. I knew my fake parents would be fake divorced by fake Christmas, and I used this to build character. "A child"?! Methinks not. I was a multifaceted character who just wanted to stay of TROUBLE down at the POOL HALL.

This is where I'm assuming the trembling comes in. The song "Gary, Indiana". I don't know if you have ever been to/driven through Gary, Indiana, but it is a terrible place. It smells terrible. I hate Gary, Indiana. Also, most of Indiana, but that is a different story for a different day. In the dream, they suddenly point to me and tell me I'm taking lead on "Gary, Indiana" even though I don't know the words! So I started doing the Nicki Minaj verse from "BedRock" and was kicked out of the children's cast. Nailed it.

Hope ya'll had a great rapture!! I'm gonna go kick it with my patron saint/main girl, St. Theresa the Little Flower!

JK, see you in hell, am I right?

an Explanation

SO. I haven't posted in almost exactly a month, and I feel somewhat obligated to offer some sort of explanation for my absence, even if I am the only one who has noticed (a great possibility). Thus begins my first and potentially one of the only actually kind of serious posts that shall ever grace this blog.

In short, this semester has been a killer. A huge reason I started this blog was to form a diversion against how I've been feeling, but, alas, mental ailments tend to win. I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder a couple of months ago, and have been seeking treatment since. Basically, I am doing much better and this is hardly a situation that needs any sympathy. I am taking the appropriate steps to getting better, I have a solid support system, and the semester is almost over. All-in-all, things are looking up.

I have finals this next week, but I am not too terribly overwhelmed since I did have to drop two of my courses as I've been dealing with my illness. After this week, I am going home for about a week for some relaxation and family time before my summer in Minneapolis actually begins!

It'll be another slow couple of weeks on the ol' blog, but I hope to be posting much more regularly throughout the summer.

POSTS TO LOOK FORWARD TO:
-An analysis of who my neighbor actually is based on their music choices (claims to be 20-something woman, likely is a 40-something flamboyantly gay man)
-An analysis on who my neighbor probably thinks I am based on my music choices (claims to be 19-yr-old young woman, actually is your dad)
-My fervent argument on why Parks and Recreation is the best show on television
-Meal choices when going to the grocery store is too much work (hint: are all peanut butter-based)
-AND MORE!!!!

So, stay tuned, kids. I'm done being serious, and have a LOT of thoughts and feelings and all those aforementioned topics. Get ready.

P.S. HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!

(Don't forget to call your moms.)