Serious Girlfriend Potential

In an effort to be an equal opportunity blog, I offer this: ladies I would like to date, thank you. I'm equally shallow toward both genders, do not fear.

Candidate #1:

Name: Aubrey Plaza

Profession: Actress/Dark Angel/Gothic Princess

Babest quality: Girl makes people so uncomfortable that they feel compelled to write a character for her. Her deadpan delivery and the fact that she is clearly the weirdest human makes her the babest babe. Also, her face.

Research Material: Parks and Rec, forever. Safety Not Guaranteed, where you will be forced to feel feelings forever. Music video for "Hollywood Forever Cemetery Sings" by Father John Misty. Any late night interview she participates in.

Candidate #2:

Name: Jenny Lewis

Profession: Singer/Ginger

Babest Quality: THAT VOICE, ugh. Her songwriting ability is amazing, no matter what project she is working on, though I prefer the country twang Lewis. Also, whatever voodoo she does as a petite woman to make it look like she has legs for miles.

Research Material: I personally recommend "More Adventurous" from Rilo Kiley, and her first solo album (with the Watson Twins) "Rabbit Fur Coat".

Candidate #3:

Name: Amy Poehler

Profession: Comedian/Actress/Writer/Director/Literally Everything Cool

Babest Quality: Smart Girls at the Party. Amy and two of her best friends made this internet show that interviews girls who are passionate about everything from hip hop to yoga to basically everything. It encourages girls to be themselves, and that being unique is actually awesome and doesn't make you lame. I may or may not have teared up at an episode or four. Amy also does advice videos, and they are equally precious. There's all that, and I would argue that she's the funniest woman of ever. There, I said it.

Research Material: ABOVE LINK. All her SNL characters (esp. Kaitlin). Any interview she does with husband Will Arnett. Just everything.

Candidate #4:

Name: Carey Mulligan

Profession: Actress

Babest Quality: When she's on screen, it's impossible to take your eyes off her. Basically, she's a suspiciously good actress and suspiciously able to pull off any hair style really, really well. THUS, her babest quality is clearly whatever witchcraft she practices, because it is WORKING.

Research Material: An Education, which may or may not still be on Netflix. Never Let Me Go. Like... any picture of her face.

Candidate #5:

Name: Lizzy Caplan

Profession: Actress/JANIS IAN FROM MEAN GIRLS

Babest Quality: Soso funny, soso versatile. I would argue some of the best comedic timing in film/TV. She was in Mean Girls, which I didn't even realize until well after I had established myself as a straight up fan. Also, her drugged-up sex scenes in True Blood included swimming in the air through a mystical forest, so that was... a thing. Then all of Party Down.

Research Material: All of Party Down. Her couple of episodes on New Girl. Mean Girls, three times in a row. Season one of True Blood (then just stop watching).