Happy Birthday? and/or History Majors Are Freaks

Tomorrow is my birthday. I do not like my birthday. I just submitted a Thought Catalog essay on the topic, so hopefully that gets accepted! I'll keep you loyal three fans of mine updated, of course. If it doesn't get published there, I'll post it here. Like a combo of sloppy seconds and just... rejected shit. You're welcome.

Two of things that I have done every year on or near my day of birth is (A) get all nostalgic, which can be good and bad, and (B) research shit that has happened on June 30 in years past. (You'd think I was a student of history or something, right?)

(A) I normally end up crying at some point. I almost never cry, so when I do, it's a hot mess. Here's where I stop talking about nostalgia, because it's risky in the tear duct area at the moment.

(B) Last night I learned that Jeffrey Dahmer committed one of his murders on my birthday in the year I was born in the city I was born in! That shouldn't end in an exclamation. It's messed up. But also, interesting. Right? Or am I just creepy? Whatever.

Why did I learn point (B) you ask? Well, while I was working at the front desk yesterday, I had the option of being productive or... not. I chose the latter. Obviously, this opportunity prompted me to go on Wikipedia and read about American murder cases, especially 19th century serial killers. I'm going to plead "history major" on this one and not "closet freak" because I'm really not. (Or am I? Just kidding. (Or am I?))

If you find this interesting as I do, or even mildly interesting, here are a couple of people/cases to consider reading into:
Bloody Benders
Jeffrey Dahmer -- YEAH, MILWAUKEE!
Walter Ellis -- YEAH, MILWAUKEE!!
Nannie Doss -- Only because her nickname was "Giggling Granny"

I have more, but I'll keep my creepy level down just a bit this evening.

UPDATE: Since I took all day to write this dang thing, it now actually is my birthday. So I'm going to consume this bag of chocolate covered peanuts and Diet Coke and watch 30 Rock until I fall asleep.

But, hey. If you wonderful people want to give me a present (which you do) and it's not the new True Blood line of makeup from Tarte (which it should be), consider telling a friend or six about this blog. If it has made you laugh, cringe, smile, or pray for my soul, chances are someone else... might... like it? Eh?

I leave you with Ron Swanson's feelings on birthdays: