Goodbye, Summer. Hello, doing-the-same-thing-as-summer

I don't even want to look when the last time I posted was, because I know it is pitiful. Shameful, even. My idea notebook is bumpin' (new cool adjective for notebooks), but I haven't had the time/energy to write anything longer than a sentence. Why? Because I suck. Why? Because being triple employed is a bitch.

Yeah, yeah, I know I signed up for it. I know it will be worth it when I am rolling in piles of money (or crying into piles of money OR BOTH), but at the moment it is just super draining and makes my back hurt. Today was the first day of school for most of my friends, so it was a pouting day on my end x2. I do and I don't miss school. Bipolar attitudes toward education. Good thing I have 7836r723 semesters left when you include law school and round down.

I now bring you the pros and cons of working at my places of work. Keepin' it nice and vague to, you know, not get fired for being an asshole on the internet.

Hardware store:

(+) can/will go to work looking like shit

(+) most of the customers who come in are working guys who don't want to ask for help...

(+)...subsequently, I get to read a shit ton of Harry Potter guilt-free. Male pride FTW!!

(-) trapped in the cash register cube where happiness goes to die

(+) being trapped in said cube has improved my use of hyperbole

(-) I have no idea what the fuck I am ever selling/talking about

(+) I AM A MASTER OF WINGIN' IT

Restaurant:

(+) free food

(+) another step in my transformation into Sookie Stackhouse

(-) with my white shirt, black pants, and tie, I look like I just celebrated my Bar Mitzvah

(+) if that were true, I would finally be a man in the eyes of my people

(-) PEOPLE ARE ASSHOLES

(+) those assholes have to tip me

(-) I have to wear some mad Sketchers Shape-Ups

(+) thanxx to those horrifying shoes, my butt is looking really great

(-) seriously, though: people are total assholes

Beauty store:

(----) it's like being a crack addict in a crack store. But it's not just crack, it's the good stuff. Nice crack that makes you look like a beautiful angel sent from heaven covered in glitter.

(+) what's up, big ol' discount

(+) I'm new, so I can still play the new girl pity card (though I don't like to, it's nice to have the option)

(+) the ladies that work there seem lovely thus far

(-) it's a store full of ladies shopping. Unlike the hardware store men, they are needy as fuck.

(-) I'm pretty sure 98% of the stuff we sell is made up. Beauty products are weird. Rub bamboo on your eyeballs and your nails grow faster or something? I call bullshit. Maybe it's eyelashes growing and eucalyptus, not bamboo. My call of bullshit still stands.

Overall:

(-) workin' mad doubles

(+) excuses for mad nap times

(-) apparently I've started using the word "mad" a lot in this specific context, I blame work

(+) I can blame everything on work!!

(+) cash money/Young Money/Lil Wayne-->based on this train of thought, I am now Nicki Minaj. I DID IT

(+) I never have to socialize with people I don't like because I can say that I have to work and they'll never know it was a lie! Off the social grid!

you guys, it's my hit song!!

So, now you know what my life has been like is short form. Now that all three jobs are started and I have as regular of a schedule as I'm going to get, I will definitely be able to blog more. I know you were worried.

I am going to take my post work pre-work out nap, which I just made up and am very excited about. The only major thing you, the reader(s), have missed in the past month is how cute me and Kelsey look in this picture: 

Okay, now that is remedied. I can rest easy. Thanks for being patient with me if you have been. If not, umm.. you're probably not reading this.